Dear Me,

This is a letter to my 16 year old self. It is part of a project collaborated by a lovely Author of a bunch of wonderful books. If you want to check it out you can here.

Dear Me,

Writing this letter is rough. I don't want to go back and think about all of the things that we went through. I don't want to be reliving the pain of living with hidden scars and secrets.

The first thing I need to tell you is, say it. Say it out loud to someone who will listen. You have been terrified and living in secret fear for 10 years now. If you tell someone you love and trust, it will take away the power of the fear and you will begin to heal. Maybe then by the time you have a family you can be rid of it.

Next I need to tell you how beautiful you are. I know you are shaking your head and telling me I am nuts and naming all of your faults one by one. But it's true. You will look back on this time in your life as the best you ever looked. It sounds crazy, but let it sink in. You. Are. Beautiful.

While we are on the subject, holy cats, you are NOT FAT! Trust me, we have had three kids now and I know how fat looks on this body and you are not it! So get over it.

This time in your life feels awful. You feel out of control and like your life is unstable. You feel like the only way to get a hold on everything that is spinning out is to end it all. It's not. There is a Father in Heaven who is waiting for you to go and tell Him. So go. Go now sit at His feet and ask for the help that you need. Please! You have to trust me. Cutting yourself is not the answer. It will not solve your problems, it will just create more. You need to go home. Go to Mom and tell her, go to Jesus tell Him too. Be honest.

Be honest in love too. Don't let anyone tell you that a 16 year old doesn't know what love is. You do. Be careful of other's hearts in the process. One day your heart will be handled the way you are handling the heart you have in your hands right now. It hurts. So be gentle. You think he is lucky to have you, the reality is you are both lucky. This won't last forever, one day he will leave you. So don't lose yourself in this. It's hard enough when he walks out to lose him, you don't want to see yourself walk out the door too. And before he goes, girl, tell him everything you need him to know. In the future you will have relationship issues a plenty because of the way this went down, if you had just been honest, humble, and gentle things could be a lot better for the present tense me.

What those people in school think of you doesn't matter. Plain and simple. There will always be people trying to drag you down so they can raise themselves up. Stand up for yourself and be proud of who you are, because the truth is they can only step on you if you let them. You were created by a God who doesn't make mistakes. He made you uniquely for a purpose. Your purpose. Find out what that is and strive toward it. Don't let anyone get in your way.

Pay attention to your grades and school. In the long run it will be of great importance to have the knowledge that these teachers are trying to give you. The rest of the drama isn't as valuable as what is going on in that classroom.

Embrace the new family you have. Spend time with them and laugh. Be young and enjoy being young. It goes away faster than you think.

It gets better. I promise. You will have a beautiful family and a deep relationship with a loving God. Keep your eyes on the prize and be present in the great moments of your youth. Next thing you know you will be up to your elbows in diapers and PTA meetings. Drive with the windows down, sing, and for the love of all things holy, be happy!

XOXO,
Me