Why do I feel like I spend the majority of my time as a mother trying to do damage control?
Probably because I do. The scenario plays out like this usually, someone does something insensitive or frustration producing. I lose my temper and scream. They cry due to their feelings which I have crushed. I feel hideous and start damage control. Can anyone relate to this?
This morning was heinous. Everything went awry. We all woke up on the wrong side of the thunderstorm, tired and edgy. Add in wardrobe issues, pokey people, and lunch packing woes and we were all screaming and biting each other's heads off. With me as the ring leader of course.
So on the way to school I look back at Bailey's red little eyes and nose realizing I have just ensured that she is going to have a crappy day. All because I have NO PATIENCE. And the guilt and damage control start. I try to make her smile, I apologize for hurting her feelings, and I make the girls apologize to each other for unkind words. It's not enough. After they are dropped off I sit behind the wheel and beat myself up for the send off they had. I am the mom I am supposed to be an example not a ring leader. Ugh. Why do I keep falling into this pit?
I've read books, watched seminars, listened to sermons, and prayed unceasingly about this issue. I just can't seem to be nice and find my patience pool. I'm open to suggestions friends. I'm also open to "been there" statements for camaraderie. Here's hoping your morning is off to a better start!
Probably because I do. The scenario plays out like this usually, someone does something insensitive or frustration producing. I lose my temper and scream. They cry due to their feelings which I have crushed. I feel hideous and start damage control. Can anyone relate to this?
This morning was heinous. Everything went awry. We all woke up on the wrong side of the thunderstorm, tired and edgy. Add in wardrobe issues, pokey people, and lunch packing woes and we were all screaming and biting each other's heads off. With me as the ring leader of course.
So on the way to school I look back at Bailey's red little eyes and nose realizing I have just ensured that she is going to have a crappy day. All because I have NO PATIENCE. And the guilt and damage control start. I try to make her smile, I apologize for hurting her feelings, and I make the girls apologize to each other for unkind words. It's not enough. After they are dropped off I sit behind the wheel and beat myself up for the send off they had. I am the mom I am supposed to be an example not a ring leader. Ugh. Why do I keep falling into this pit?
I've read books, watched seminars, listened to sermons, and prayed unceasingly about this issue. I just can't seem to be nice and find my patience pool. I'm open to suggestions friends. I'm also open to "been there" statements for camaraderie. Here's hoping your morning is off to a better start!
Can anyone relate? Ummm, YES! You are NOT alone. Please do not beat yourself up - in my experience, the weight of guilt just makes things worse. You are doing the best you can. And sometimes you mess up. We all do. One thing I've seen play out is that chances are, your kids will not even remember it this afternoon - so why should you allow it such a heavy burden? Praying for you, Sara, because I have been there too. And my suggestion? Come to MOMSnext on Tuesday - I'm excited about what God will teach each of us about handling our emotions through this book "Unglued" that we'll be studying!! Hugs, Steph
ReplyDeleteThank so much Steph. Your words are so hugely appreciated this morning. I'll try to take them to heart. I'm really thinking about MOPSnext. I loved Unglued.
DeleteLoved the talk on Focus on the Family today! Spoke to this complex issue. http://www.focusonthefamily.com/radio.aspx?ID={E44D5433-58D5-424A-88E6-4A66C1E713F3}
ReplyDeleteThat should be the interview from this am.