So today I made a mistake. A relatively small financial mistake.
It frustrated me and made me feel stupid. If I had taken one of 8 different paths it wouldn't have happened. But I didn't and it did. I have since made my peace with it, but for a couple of hours I was pretty upset.
You may or may not remember a post I wrote awhile ago about the lengths I used to go to when I felt ashamed, stupid, scared, or hurt. I am saddened and disheartened that my mind went right back to those scary depths today when I felt the sting of my miniature issue.
Apparently I haven't grown as far out of it as I thought I had. So I know now that I have some work to do here. Thank God I have in my life Jesus, a good Therapist, and a Husband that loves me and recognizes when something just isn't right.
I pray that every person who knows what this place looks and feels like has all of those same things. I pray that those people understand that it is not normal and it's something that can be made better if they only have the initial courage to pull it out of the shadow of secret. The shadow gives it power. The minute you share it with another human it will start to grow weaker. It will start to shrink before your eyes. With the proper support system you can overcome this.
And so can I.
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