I Wish...

I were braver.
I was strong.
I had courage.
I were fearless.
I had peace of mind, even just once.
I were normal and not so screwed up.
I could relax into the Father's hands that I know are strong enough to hold me.
I didn't count 72 hours every time I hear some one is ill.
I was a better role model for my kid
I wasn't a burden for my Husband, my Mom, my family, and my friends.
I felt a change in the right direction, but it seems to be slipping the other way.
I could feel joy without the fear of the other shoe about to drop.
That I would have spoke up about 20 years earlier.
I had the words to help people understand how I feel.
That I could turn off Facebook and never look back.
That invisible bugs didn't rule my life. 
That this particular 72 hours was over...