In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month I am going to open up and spill some of my unadulterated truth in hopes that will inspire just one person to be who they are all of the time. No matter what the world may say about it. I pretend to be a live-out-loud, no secrets, this is who I am kind of girl. And yet there I things I hide because of the social stigma. And I think that's bullshit. That's right I swear. A lot. It's not something I'm proud of but it's part of who I am. I am no longer going to let the fear of judgement make me hide that away. There's a bunch more of that coming so hold on to your hats.
This is my truth:
I'm loud. I'm over bearing. I'm a control freak. I like to have sex with my Husband. I've got one hell of a dirty mind. I have a severe attitude problem. I can't ever be wrong. I LOVE a good glass of wine. I'm not great at forgiveness. I make snap judgments everyday. (I am usually wrong, but won't admit it) I am pig headed and stubborn. I speak before I think, although I think I need a little more of that. I am selfish. I love attention. I can't stand when someone says something bad about me. I have a severe need to be liked. I used to cut myself because I wouldn't let myself ask for help. Being alone scares me. I have a phobia. I have another phobia. I have a panic disorder. I struggle with depression.
This is also my truth:
I'm brave. I'm doing my best at raising three kids. I have a Husband who loves me. I love to laugh. I'm loyal to a fault. I'm kind. I cry at nearly every movie I watch. I care about the feelings of others. I'd rather watch a baseball game with my Husband than go on a shopping spree. I value life no matter what size. I love the Lord Jesus with all of my heart and I know that no matter how long and how deep that list on top is, He loves me too.
That's the thing here, nothing can take you away from the love of your Savior. No one's opinion of you. No one's biting words. Not the bad decisions you've made. Not your character defects. Not your foolish pride. NOTHING. And unless you have the courage to be who you are out loud no one can see you and love you for who you are. And someone will.
I struggled with panic and depression silently for 20 years. Don't do that. Speak. Speak out loud your truth. Once you do the weight of silence will dissipate and for the first time in a long time you will feel seen. That can be scary, but fight through it healing is waiting on the other side.
This is my truth:
I'm loud. I'm over bearing. I'm a control freak. I like to have sex with my Husband. I've got one hell of a dirty mind. I have a severe attitude problem. I can't ever be wrong. I LOVE a good glass of wine. I'm not great at forgiveness. I make snap judgments everyday. (I am usually wrong, but won't admit it) I am pig headed and stubborn. I speak before I think, although I think I need a little more of that. I am selfish. I love attention. I can't stand when someone says something bad about me. I have a severe need to be liked. I used to cut myself because I wouldn't let myself ask for help. Being alone scares me. I have a phobia. I have another phobia. I have a panic disorder. I struggle with depression.
This is also my truth:
I'm brave. I'm doing my best at raising three kids. I have a Husband who loves me. I love to laugh. I'm loyal to a fault. I'm kind. I cry at nearly every movie I watch. I care about the feelings of others. I'd rather watch a baseball game with my Husband than go on a shopping spree. I value life no matter what size. I love the Lord Jesus with all of my heart and I know that no matter how long and how deep that list on top is, He loves me too.
That's the thing here, nothing can take you away from the love of your Savior. No one's opinion of you. No one's biting words. Not the bad decisions you've made. Not your character defects. Not your foolish pride. NOTHING. And unless you have the courage to be who you are out loud no one can see you and love you for who you are. And someone will.
I struggled with panic and depression silently for 20 years. Don't do that. Speak. Speak out loud your truth. Once you do the weight of silence will dissipate and for the first time in a long time you will feel seen. That can be scary, but fight through it healing is waiting on the other side.
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